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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in lightheart_7's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009
12:27 pm
Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009
7:21 pm
Rest in Peace Floofie
I am writing this through tears. We just got back from the vet and laid our sweet Floofin to rest.

He was a good kitty, a unique individual.

I want to post a bit more, but it will have to wait a while.
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
2:49 pm
They chose another candidate
Those are heartbreaking words to hear. Especially when someone you love had their hopes riding high on getting the job. My heart hurts just as bad as if the words were said to me...
Friday, November 20th, 2009
10:38 am
It's better than being poked in the eye with a stick
Yesterday, I poked myself in the eye with a stick. I was parked next to a tree, and when I turned to get something out of my grocery cart, a stick brutally attacked me- poking me in the eye. Fortunately, it missed my cornea and only grazed the conjunctiva. It was bright red for about an hour, then bright pink. My eyeball feels bruised today, and the whole lateral side of my left eyeball is red. I feel lucky it wasn't worse.

I spent several hours shopping yesterday for my birthday dinner, and also picking up stuff for Thanksgiving. Turkey was 40 cents a pound at Walmart, I bought about a 13 pounder. It took me a while to find fresh beets, I finally found them at a local Farmer's Market where most of the signage is in Spanish, but the produce is mostly local and reasonably priced. I roasted the beets last night and we had them late in the evening, as a test of the recipe for my dinner tomorrow.

Here is the menu with the wine pairingsCollapse )It will be a really fun night.
Friday, November 13th, 2009
11:01 am
Ahhh the smell of garlic in the morning


Several days this week, when I left the house for work, the wind was blowing from the south. About 5 miles south of us is the Gilroy Foods processing plant. Their biggest product is garlic. Most of the garlic used in the US (as well as lettuce, artichokes and other things) are grown surprisingly near here. It is amazing to see the double trucks of garlic headed to the plant. On some days, the smell of garlic is overwhelming- good thing I like that smell!

I have been getting up early and taking the train with S halfway to work. I leave my car at the station and drive the rest of the way. It is nice to share part of the commute with S, but I am SO not a morning person. I eventually wake up, and feel a bit less grumpy, but I do hate getting up so early. After work, I drive back to the train- we are trying to head straight from the train to the gym before we get home. We are not 100%, but we are doing better at it.

I applied for a position at my local hospital, I had a very successful first round of interviews, next week I meet with senior administration (a panel of 3-4 people). This will cut my commute to 10 minutes!! I feel very good about the new position, and will post more if I get the job. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

We have decided to open a small boutique winery. Right now we are in the planning stages and getting all the legal stuff done. We had our first property inspection by the county. We have written the first several of many more checks for all the permits etc. We have started making wine, not for public sale, but for our own use, so that we can get better at the craft and have a good product. Several of the local wineries have been quite helpful- it is like joining a little family where people are incredibly supportive of each other. The list is VERY long of what we need to accomplish in order to open our tasting room in Spring of 2011, but we are excited and hopeful that things will work out for us to have good wine and a lovely place to share it by then. The name of the winery? Lightheart Cellars of course!

Life is pretty darn good.

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
2:33 pm
From another site

And because I am bored today:

1. What is your absolute best asset?

2. What is the best thing that has happened to you in the past week?

3. What do you usually use to mark a place in a book you’re reading?

4. How many times do you hit the snooze button in the morning?

5. What was the last thing you put a postage stamp on?

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
11:03 am
Sad kitty news
The lump on Floofin's back was diagnosed as fibro-sarcoma with 95% certainty on the part of the vet, a condition that occurs in cats at past vaccination sites. Bringing him to the vet earlier would not have changed anything except us knowing faster what to expect.

There is a treatment- first a biopsy to confirm, then radical surgery including limb removal, then radiation and chemotherapy, all of which would extend his life for only a few months before the sarcoma would recur. This is so sad, but we have chosen to skip all of it, including the biopsy, and let him live his life as happily peaceful as he can for the grouchy old man that he is.

I hope the tumor grows slowly and lets him live a long time. He doesn't seem to be in pain and it doesn't bother him, so we will see how things go from here. But now, I am kind of sad.

Current Mood: sad
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
10:43 pm
Interesting meme
 Saw this on 2 friends' LJ so I decided to go for it:

Instructions: Highlight in BOLD (&/or underline) whatever applies to you.

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
6. Were the same or higher social class than your high school teachers
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home. 
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.
9. Were read childrens' books by a parent
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18- I am assuming coaches count
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18

12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
16. Went to a private high school
17. Went to summer camp 
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child
23. Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
24. You and your family lived in a single family house  
25. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
26. You had your own room as a child  
27. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school
29. Owned (an investment) in high school or college
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up 
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.
35. I am for the most part healthy and have no significant disability.

36. I have been born into a gender which I am comfortable with.
37. My sexuality is viewed positively in the media and by the majority of my society.
38. My sexuality is not visible to others just by looking at me. 
39. My peer group is represented positively in the media and embraced positively by the majority of society.
40. My ethnic group is represented positively in the media and rarely stigmatized or stereotyped. 
41. The language spoken by teachers in school was the same language as that I spoke with my family at home.
42. My parents and teachers took it for granted that I would attend university.
43. Any money I earned at part-time jobs before I turned 18 was mine to keep or put towards my education. 
44. I know what my family's genetic history is.
45. When people see me with my parents, they assume we're related.- I assume they wuld if my parents were still alive.

46. I graduated from college or university with (almost) no debt.
47. During college or university, I could use income from part-time jobs to supplement my spending money (rather than for tuition, books, or living expenses).
 
4:08 pm
Last Race & knee update
I'll be leaving work in a few minutes for the last Wednesday race of the summer season. This year we have been race committee and not racing, which is fun, but not as fun as sailing. Next year we hope to have a consistent crew and be out sailing these fun races. Being part of the committee has given me a lot more respect for the difficulty of running the races.
There are a couple more week-end races, then a pause until racing starts again in January.

Tomorrow I start a new series of injections in my knee- second generation viscous stuff that has a better success rate than the Orthovisc I was given last year. I had a cortisone shot 2 weeks ago, and I am going to increase the acupuncture to every 2 weeks. I had cut back to monthly because of insurance, but it helps so much that I am willing to pay out of pocket for it.  Last night I actually rode my bicycle around the neighborhood and the knee tolerated it well. My biggest fear was that I would fall and twist my knee, something I will need to overcome.
The weather has been beautiful, cool and breezy. I think that is what Fall is here in the bay area.
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
4:26 pm
meanderings

I have been doing quite a bit of thinking lately about how my life, and how peoples’ lives in general have changed in the past several years. I think the biggest glaring difference I can see is the use of the internet to meet, to keep in touch, to share, to learn, etc. I see so much communicating from people, much of it very fascinating, that there are days that I am totally on information overload. Baby pictures, travel logs, deep thoughts…. my friends, family and acquaintances run the gamut. I have a breadth of knowledge of people I would otherwise never encounter. But I do wonder if I have sacrificed depth for breadth. Because people don’t necessarily write what they might say to a close friend. And when someone does start to write about how depressed, sad or screwed up they feel, it’s kind of sad too, because those words are being broadcast out to a basically emotionless black hole. Or worse, deep emotions broadcast out to people who may be fulfilling their rubber neck mentality by reading them (oh, ain’t it awful!!).

 

35 years ago, I had no clue what a computer was. I had no phone in my first several apartments. Long distance required saving up lots of change and standing in a booth. I wrote letters (and received letters back!). I met people through friends and by happenstance. I suspect it was much easier for the angels to help us out back then. There weren’t so many ways around finding the right path. There weren’t so many distractions.

 

I used to keep a paper journal. It was private, nobody read it. I had a sister-in-law who also wrote in a journal every day. I had no knowledge of what she wrote. I once made a promise to her that if anything ever happened to her, I would get her journals before anyone else in her family did. I think about Anne Frank, and how different her world would have been if she wrote her diary on Face Book or LJ, or Twitter (still in the attic!).

 

I went to a spiritual conference the other day. I was uplifted. I was satisfied. I bought a bunch of books. I basked in the presence of 17,000 other people who came together to hear the speakers. So much more to say…. it sparked me to contemplate some actions in my life. Being responsible, keeping my own commitments to myself. Being more loving. That is what those conferences should do.

 

S and I have been married for a month and a half. The friends and family who came to visit are what made it perfect. We worked hard to have it be a low stress event and we mostly succeeded. Life is good. We have picked 2 of the 3 wine varietals we will be making into wine this fall. The Pinot Gris and the Chardonnay are looking wonderful, and even taste like wine! We’ll be picking the Cabernet in the next few weeks. S is making plans for a winery in the old barn.

 

I went to see my niece in Marina Del Ray over Labor Day week-end and held her 2 week old son in my arms for almost 2 hours, and I could have done that for another few days. There is nothing like a dose of baby to calm the soul.

 

I am going to Virginia in 2 weeks for 10 days. I am excited and happy to be going. I miss the people I know who live there. I haven’t called it home for several years, but it was where I spent most of my life. I am attending a wedding of a young man I have known all his life. That is special. I am also spending time with family and friends, relaxing and having fun doing things like eating crabs, shopping with my daughter, and having deep philosophical discussions. Well, maybe not that but definitely crabs and shopping.

 

 

 

 

Friday, August 21st, 2009
12:20 pm
What Season is Your Soul Connected To?
Your Soul Is Connected to the Summer
You are the type of person who isn't content to let life pass by. You truly believe that life is for the living.
You are outgoing and friendly. You enjoy being around other people, and you're the first one to say "yes" to a social event.

You don't take anything too seriously, and you're known as a bit of a flirt. You feel best when you make other people feel good.
You are happy with the life you are given, even if it isn't much. You are content to bask in the sunlight.
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
10:47 am
Update
So much has happened in so short a time...

The weddingCollapse )
ProjectsCollapse )
HealthCollapse )
I am not sure if you all know this, but I read LJ every day. You might think I am not logging in because I don't post, or reply very much. But I am grateful that some of you post a lot. Even if I don't know you well, it sure makes me feel closer to you, and it feels like I have a connected web here.  Hope you are all having a great day!
Friday, May 22nd, 2009
11:06 am
Wedding count down
Hi everyone. This is a cool tracker I found!


Sunday, March 22nd, 2009
8:11 pm
What Kind of Boots Are You? But of course!
You Are High Heeled Boots
You are incredibly sexy. There's no way you could hide it, so you just flaunt it.
You are a naturally talented flirt. You make everyone feel fascinating and attractive.

You have a wild streak. You like to have fun, and your idea of fun is pretty outrageous.
You dare to be yourself and life courageously. People respect you for it.
Friday, March 13th, 2009
12:27 pm
Weight Loss Tracker
I found a cute weight loss tracker today on one of the message boards that I subscribe to, so I made a little weight loss tracker icon for myself:




I still have a lot of swimming to go!!
Thursday, February 19th, 2009
12:13 pm
A fun meme
YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I WANNA KNOW YOU... I want to know 33 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine... You're on my list, so I wanna know you better!


The Questions

1. Can you cook?

2. What was your dream growing up?

3. What talent do you wish you had?

4. Favorite place?

5. Favorite vegetable?

6. What was the last book you read?

7. What zodiac sign are you?

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?

9. Worst Habit?

10. Do we know each other outside of lj?

11. What is your favorite sport?

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15. Tell me one weird fact about you:

16. Do you have any pets?

17. Do you know how to do the macerana?

18. What time is it where you are now?

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22. What color eyes do you have?

23. Ever been arrested?

24. Bottle or Draft?

25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?

26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?

27. What's your favorite bar to hang at?

28. Do you believe in ghosts?

29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

30. Do you swear a lot?

31. Biggest pet peeve?

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?

33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
Wednesday, December 17th, 2008
9:44 am
Changes


I am not sure how the spiral I am in got started, but some things have gotten a bit out of control. There are lots of cause-and-effect pathways that are so very clear to me, but what hasn't been so clear is how to step off the merry-go-round.

 

First step off the merry-go-round was to cancel surgery.Collapse )


 

Long blah blah blah about anxiety/depressionCollapse )


 

Which brings me to Step 3, finallyCollapse )


None of the things I am doing is independent of the others. Decreasing anxiety may decrease anxiety eating, decreasing depression may provide more energy for physical activity. I didn't even mention the stressful work environment I am in, but feel that if I can get things flowing emotionally and physically, dealing with the work crap will not be as much of a hardship for me.

 

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008
9:35 am
Surgery Canceled
I just wanted you all to know I have canceled the surgery next week. I am feeling better, and I don't feel like I have explored all the options I need to explore to heal. The idea of surgery just doesn't seem right at this point.

I will spend the next few weeks/months doing the things I know I need to do to heal. If I need surgery, I will know when it is the right time, and won't be agonizing over it like I have been.

Once I made the decision, I felt a giant weight lift off my shoulders.
Wednesday, November 26th, 2008
1:53 pm
More knee surgery


This is probably the umteenth "knee surgery" post I have written. This one is the "ultimate knee surgery" post. I am scheduled to have knee replacement surgery on December 9th.

I am very nervous about it, and in the strange way that fate can thumb its nose at people, I have been more capable of walking etc. since I made the decision to have the surgery. I even ran all around the sailboat last week, thinking I would have to have a date with the 'ice machine' that evening, but I was fine. The swelling is down, the pain is almost non-existant, and I find myself second guessing the surgery decision. At the same time, I am counting up the number of hours I have in the bank so that I can take maximun time off from work.

In another strange twist, the surgery date is my friend Pattie's birthday. I know I will be thinking of her and hope she is watching over me that day. I know that S will be there, being a strong shoulder for me. I will need it, as the fear of this surgery is clouding my emotions.

I spend a lot of time reading about this surgery, reading about options, thinking about how my life will change post-surgery. I will be able to walk again, hike again, ride a bike again, exercise again, so many things. But I also know that the recovery is a long one. It took 9 months to be 'normal' after the ACL reconstruction, and for the knee replacement  I am reading that in a year I will be 'glad I did it'. It is hard to see that right now, because I am not feeling any sense of acute suffering. But I WAS...I had gotten to the point where my life was totally ruled by how my knee was doing every day. I had a constant limp, and my hip started to ache from it. Every time I rolled over in my sleep it woke me up.

Now, the spot of athlete's foot on the bottom of my foot bothers me more than my knee. The anxiety about this surgery wakes me up at night. This may be a result of the combination of reduced activity, cortisone shots, accupuncture, and relief that I am going to get it taken care of. But it is still disconcerting. AND the minute I think about postponing the surgery, I fear the pain, swelling, and inability to get through a day without pain will come right back. Ack.

I will keep you all posted.
 

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008
8:49 am
Going home again
Last night after 2 flights which were eventful for only the last 5 terrifying minutes, I landed safely at Dulles. My daughter was waiting for me, and we spent the evening sharing a nice bottle of pinot grigio before turning in for the night.

This morning, I dropped her off at work at Tyson's Corner. That is when the memories started....I remember when Tyson's Corner was an intersection. They built the original Tyson's Corner Mall when I was a teenager. It is now a bustling area with numerous shopping 'centers' and lots of businesses.

I then headed towards Annapolis to meet a friend for lunch. Grateful Dead on the iphone. There is evidence of change everywhere. The interchange at Springfield is still not completed. But it is getting there, and very different. Then I noticed houses on the right side between Springfield and Van Dorn St, BIG houses built almost up to the highway. Lots of road work between Springfield and the Wilson Bridge. Then Wilson Bridge itself! On the left side there was a huge glass wall, not sure what that was about, but it was striking! As I crossed the bridge, there was a huge building area across the water on the right, "National Harbor", hmmmm I remember a petting zoo there- I took my kids there when they were small.

Continuing around the beltway to Route 50, I felt a sense of peace with change. The fall leaves are lovely. I had waves and waves of memories of driving those roads, different places, different times. All part of the flow of life. A subtle melancholy. You can go home again, but it changes along with everything else. And home? That is in California.
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